10 Things for Unattached, Single People to do on Valentine's Day

Here's a dandy list of 10 things an unattached, single person can do for Valentine's Day:

1. Buy a large piece of furniture from Ikea, and spend the evening putting it together. Throw the instructions away right off the bat.
   
2. Write a screenplay for your pets, dress them up in doll clothes, and video tape the entire production. Afterward, post to Youtube.
3. Go out and buy a few of boxes of kid's valentines. Sign them, "xxx ooo (your name)" and slip them under your neighbor's doors. Do this for the entire block.
4. Make a casserole or lasagna for your ex. Show up unannounced on their door step and say, "I forgot the wine. We can drink whatever you have on hand, I suppose." If they already have company say, "Great! I don't mind. The more the merrier!"
   
5. Go outside and pull all the weeds in the yard. Then, build a catapult, and see just how far you can launch each weed into your neighbor's backyard. Extra points if they land in their swimming pool.
6. Go to the drive-in movie theater. Pick a romantic comedy, and about two-thirds into the movie, get out and go around to all the neighboring cars, and knock on their windows. Say, "Hi friends! I just came by to introduce myself. What do you think of the movie so far? Can I have some of your popcorn?"
7. Call as many restaurants as you can, making dinner reservations for two, making the reservations under your boss' name. Give them his/her phone number. Tell them you want the best table in the house.
8. Go Christmas caroling through your entire neighborhood.
9. Send the link to "Are You Lonesome Tonight" (the laughing version) via email to all of your exes.
10. Decorate your car with window paint, streamers, balloons - the whole nine yards. Tie a bunch of noisy cans to your back bumper, and write "Just Married!" on the windows. Drive all around town, honking and waving at everyone who passes you. Drive past your ex's house, and should they be outside and see you, give them a wink and thumbs up.