Am I Pure Yet?

I lost my job this week. The day after Easter. I tend to not spend too much time blogging about really significant events in my life. However, this event is about to change my life drastically.

I am a single mom. I am the sole breadwinner of my little family of two. Just over two years ago, I was fortunate enough to buy a modest house for my daughter and I to live in. It was our escape out of the 20 year-old condo complex in a run-down part of the metro-Phoenix area.

The condos were built in 1981, to originally serve as apartments. Somewhere along the way they were converted into condominiums. The ventilation system was all inner-connected with the other units, so our unit always smelled like cigarette smoke. We carried the smell on our clothes, and in our hair, so you just know we were also breathing it into our lungs. And there was no yard for my little girl to play in. There would be no way I would let her outside without an escort, in any event. We didn't know our neighbors - most of the units were rentals.

After our exodus from the rat-race, and moving to our new house together, I commuted on the inter-state over 30 miles to my job each day. I was able to come home every night to enjoy simple perks, such as parking inside my own garage, having a cold drink on my back patio, while my little girl could swing on her swing-set in the backyard. To me, nothing beats living in your own house. I'd rather be stuck doing my own home maintenance and yard work, than share to walls with neighbors and be able to hear their every move. Or compete for parking spaces in a parking lot with all other residents and nonresidents alike, leaving your car exposed to the elements, neighborhood cats, door dings and in some cases, theft and burglary.

Due to the housing crisis, my house, just like everyone else's house, has lost significant value. But that's not the real dilemma. My job was in the new home construction industry. My livelihood. When the housing market took a dive, so did my industry. And after so many months of steady decline in the building industry, our company had taken hit after hit in this lousy market, and was forced into filing chapter 11 last September.

Now, seven months later, the post-filing layoffs have begun. My job, and many others, has been eliminated. In the worst of all labor markets since (who really knows when?) the early 80's, the media reports. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about loosing my house. It may not be worth much nowadays, but it's my family's own little slice of heaven.

Now, I am just NOT sitting around, crying in my beer. I am rolling up my sleeves, asking everyone I know for a recommendation, personal reference, for any job leads they might know of. I am being proactive. I am going to be attending a "pink slip party" soon, which is a networking event for people who have just been laid off, or are worried that they might be laid off. I have my network built up on LinkedIn and Facebook. I have been hitting the on-line job boards and the job search engines. All the things I am supposed to do.

I know that I am going to have to put my nose to the grindstone and treat my job-search like a full-time job. I can't afford NOT to. After all, I don't have a husband to carry me through this. I didn't get a severance package. I don't have a fattened calf to slaughter. I don't have Daddy's money to bail me out.

Still, I have something greater than all these. Know what that is? My faith. This is a test of my faith. For some time now, I have been falling off my horse and getting back on, over and over again. The reason why I have been falling off so many times is because I keep taking my eyes off of God, and looking towards the ground. I haven't been walking by faith.

He is going to see me through this. He always takes care of me. He always makes sure I somehow survive. And when I come through this, I will be stronger. Purer. A very dear friend use to tell me, "The purest gold goes through the hottest fire."

Looking forward to being 24 karat, by the time this is all over with. :-)