The Power of Connection

Yesterday morning on the Air1 morning show, Scott Smith was talking about one of his Facebook friends reaching out to him last night. She is a military wife, living in Jacksonville, Florida. Her husband is currently serving overseas, and they have two small children.

She sent him a message that told him that she feels all alone; her family lives thousands of miles away, and she is hitting a wall by turning to alcohol for comfort. She recognizes that this is a serious problem. So, Scott in turn asked another female friend of his (who just happens to live in Jacksonville) to contact her and see if they can't get together for coffee, or whatnot. He went on to say that we need to realize "the power of connection" and there are many of us facing difficult times right now, and that many of us feel alone. Some of us in doing so, turn to alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.

Wow. That is a giant step for her to reach out like she did. It's a simple gesture to send a message on Facebook. But to admit that you feel overwhelmed and that you feel swallowed whole by life is a huge undertaking. If you have no trouble asking for help when you need it, well, you are much better off than most of us.

I know that when I am hurting, my tendency is to turn AWAY from others. To withdraw and disconnect. Which is really counter-productive, because people just assume that I am busy, and thinking that I need more space, they leave me alone. And a result, I feel even more alienated from my friends and loved ones. It's a vicious cycle. And it doesn't make any sense, because I have nothing to loose by reaching out, but there is much at stake if I don't.

When I was in my twenties, I used to turn to food. I was a very unhappy person in very unhappy circumstances. Food was my "drug of choice" because it widely available, and gave me comfort. Food was my friend who could always cheer me up when I was sad. Food never chastised me. Food never belittled me. Food never pushed me, threw things at me, and it never called me names. Food was there for me when I felt that no one else cared. Food gave me security. I wanted out of my circumstances, and food was a temporary reprieve.

Most of us are really good at holding things in, and covering up emotions. If connecting with another person early on helps keep us from turning to unhealthy things, maybe we should heed his advice. Connect with one person each day, before the end of the day. Even if you don't feel like it. Maybe the person on the other end really needs that connection. Most of the time, we don't really know what is going on in that person's life. They could be going through hell. Maybe it's YOU who is going through hell. You don't need to go through it alone.

Reach out and connect. What have you got to loose?

Connect with me on Twitter.