Interview With a Six Year-Old

Today, I got to do an exclusive interview with a very important person - My daughter!

Q. When are you the happiest in your life?
A. "When I'm at the park."

Q. When are you the most proud of yourself?
A. "When I win a prize at the Boys & Girls Club."

Q. What do you wish we had more ability or time to do together?
A. "More time together to go to the museum of art."

Q. What is one the you don't like about me?
A. (Giggling) "I can't believe you just asked me that!"

Q. OK, let me change that - What is one thing you would change about me?
A. "(That) You would have a pretty robe in the morning."

Q. What is something your mom always says to you?
A. "I love you!"

Q. What makes you happy?
A. "Staying with my family, and making jokes."

Q. What makes you sad?
A. "Friends being mean to me, and (when) they don't let me do what they're doing in fun activities."

Q. How old is your mom?
A. "Uh, you know how old you are!"

Q. What is your favorite thing to do?
A. "(To) color and read."

Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. "The President!" (I thought she wanted to be a judge?)

Q. What are you really good at?
A. "Um... ah... thinking... sports, knowing things; telling people what they're going to do, and what they're thinking."

Q. What are you not very good at?
A. "Not very good at making signs."

Q. What is your favorite food?
A. "Brownies!"

Q. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be?
A. "I would be Dora, because Dora teaches kids Spanish."

Q. How are you and your mom the same?
A. "(We're) both girls."

Q. How are you and your mom different?
A. "We don't have the same hair and eyes."

Q. How do you know your mom loves you?
A. "Because she says so."

Q. Where is your favorite place to go?
A. "To the museum."

Q. What is your favorite cereal?
A. "Cocoa Pebbles." (That used to be MY favorite, too!)

Q. What is your favorite vegetable?
A. "Broccoli and carrots."

Q. What is your favorite drink?
A. "Chocolate milk."

Q. What is your favorite toy?
A. "Gabriella doll, and Troy doll." (From High School Musical)

Q. What is your favorite TV Show?
A. "Kids cartoons, Wipe Out and Superstars."

Q. What is your favorite game?
A. "The basketball game on the Internet, and checkers."

Q. What is your favorite book?
A. "The soft sheep one - where you feel it how soft it is."

Q. What is your favorite restaurant?
A. "The Olive Garden."

Q. What is your favorite holiday?
A. "Christmas!"

Q. What is your favorite animal?
A. "An elephant."

Q. If you could change your name, what would you pick?
A. "Gabriella."

Q. What do you love about your mom?
A. "Uh... that she cares about who she is, and doesn't act act like somebody else, and she just 'bes' herself."

Q. What do you love about your dad?
A. "That he loves me."

Q. Where would you like to go on vacation?
A. "The North Pole."

Q. What are some of your wishes for this year?
A. "I wish I had all the toys that are High School Musical."

Things We Learn From Our Children

A 4 year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

A 6 year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).

A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.

A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

Baseballs make marks on ceilings.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

Children in the backseat cause accidents, accidents in the backseat cause children.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a Superman cape.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

If you use a water bed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak -- it explodes.

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

Plastic toys do not like ovens.

Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.

Super glue is forever.

The fire department in Dallas has at least a 5-minute response time.

The first anger of Christmas morning: Batteries not included.

The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy.

There is no such thing as childproofing your house.

VCR's do not eject sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too late.

You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

The Methodist White Lie Cake

Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this, especially all of the ladies who bake for church events:

Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Methodist Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa, but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix & quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing, and helping her son pack up for Scout camp.

When she took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured and she exclaimed, "Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake!" This cake was important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church, and in her new community of friends. So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the centre of the cake. She found it in the bathroom - a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect. And, before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home.

When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone & called her mom. Alice was horrified-she was beside herself! Everyone would know! What would they think? She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed! All night, Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.

The next day, Alice promised herself she would try not to think about the cake and would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a fellow church member and try to have a good time. She did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having already RSVP'd , she couldn't think of a believable excuse to stay home. The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old south and to Alice 's horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert!

Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake! She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "what a beautiful cake!" Alice , still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "Thank you, I baked it myself."

Alice smiled and thought to herself, "God is Good."

(No, I didn't write this. I don't know where this story came from, but I thought it was too funny not to share!)